Dancing Naked

Do I Move You by Nina Simone

Link to Lyrics and song – http://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/ninasimone/doimoveyou.html

Ah, the soulful sounds of Nina Simone.  And this one?  Well, it just follows what the focus seems to have been for the past few weeks.  Questions that we, as women, ask ourselves and often our partners, especially when we do not feel what others say we should feel.  I am going to address those that are in partnerships or in relationships because that seems to be where this is going this morning.

I may not have asked my life partner this exact question, but I certainly have asked him if I was still sexy and beautiful to him.  I know that I am not the lithe sprite of a thing that I was when I first met him, but then, neither is he the muscular solid rock guy.  We are entering into that time of life when our bodies are beginning to show the years.  Funny, because inside I still feel like that beautifully toned and fit 30 year old inside, and then I look into the mirror and, admittedly think sometimes, “Who the hell is that woman, and what did she do with that young woman?”  And then, sometimes, I look into that mirror and think, “Well, you may have a few wrinkles and carry a few extra pounds, but you look pretty damn good, lady!”  It all depends on my wake up attitude.

We as women are given an ideal to which we feel we must measure up.  Even the commercials targeting the middle-aged woman are showing these women with 30 year old thin and toned bodies and few wrinkles on their face.  There is one older model that has long silver hair indicating that she is an older woman, but her body does not say older woman.  Where does this ideal come from?  And why, as women, do we continue to berate ourselves because we’ve lived our lives raising our families and doing what we thought we were supposed to do or be?

I am on a quest to tell women my age that we are all beautiful!  I know those words should strike pride, and yet, if you are even a little like me, they are met with disbelief or sarcasm.  We know we should think that, and yet, we look in the mirror and say, “Who the hell is that woman?”

Like I said earlier, I have asked my partner if I’m still sexy, and frankly, he gets offended at the question.  His reasoning is, “Of course, you’re still sexy to me.  I don’t know why you even ask me?”  Ah, there ya go.  That is manspeak.  As a man, he’s saying, that I am just as beautiful to him as I was when we were younger and that he doesn’t understand why I question it.  As a woman, I hear words that are trying to make me feel sexy to him because he knows to say otherwise would totally get him in trouble.  Hence, the words Nina sings,

The answer better be (Yes, yes)
That pleases me

What we want as women, guys, is to be made to feel sexy not just told.  And yet, does our value depend on what our partner believes or thinks?  It shouldn’t!  Our minds and thoughts dictate what we receive.  So, instead of asking your partner, look in that mirror, and ask that lady there, “Do I move you?”  If the answer is no, then start working on that.  If the answer is yes, then celebrate!  For me, I can ask that question, and say, “Yes! Yes!”  And that pleases me! Because today, I look pretty damn good!