What’s Yours!
Music Muse of the Day – Dirty White Boy by Foreigner
Link to Song and Lyrics – http://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/foreigner/dirtywhiteboy.html
I love this process! This morning as I opened this song, images of the bad boy – we’ve all known some – came into my mind. Frankly, it was what drew me to my husband many years ago – he had the looks and reputation of being a bad boy. But I cannot take this song so literal this morning because I am realizing that it’s not really the lyrics or the musician’s meaning of the song. This process is about recognizing those pieces of myself that are ready to be released and explored.
So, what is the “Dirty White Boy” in all of this? It is that part of me that is all me. It is about owning my truth and knowing that regardless of my outward face, the inward knowing of who I am is valuable and worthy. There is that “Dirty White Boy” inside of me – inside of all of us. That part that knows that we are not perfect – we have flaws – we have imperfections – that people around us may not like or appreciate, but we know that they are all a part of our perfection.
I cannot speak for you, the reader, but I can speak for me. I have a quick temper, and when I feel safe, I let it loose. Well, sometimes, I let it loose anyway. But when it’s over, it’s over. The temper gives me passion and is a calling card for the fire in my soul. I may be Pisces, but I am on the cusp of Aries and have Leo ascending – steam! And I am in love with that part of me because it’s fire and water and passion!
Now here is my struggle! I have this tendency to put myself and my needs and wants on a shelf so that someone else can experience theirs. I will put what I desire on hold even though it hurts inside and even though I know that I will hurt in the process, but I will sacrifice. I have been accused of enjoying being a martyr, and there may is some small truth in that. But I justify it in my mind that I would rather hurt than someone I care about. It is not a healthy attitude, and one with which I struggle. Maybe I enjoy pain? I don’t know, but it is something I am exploring.
My story is that I am a caregiver and I fix things, so if I need to give up something for someone else, then so be it. Yeah, see? We all have those things that need discovering and reframing. So, that’s my “Dirty White Boy.” What’s yours?
Dancing Naked 