Brand New Kind of Me!

22 Jul 2014 6 Comments

by Camille in My Thoughts Exactly Tags: , , , , , , ,

This week’s music – Brand New Me by Alicia Keyes

Music/lyrics link – http://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/aliciakeys/brandnewme.html

Today, I could just copy and paste the lyrics, and my blog would be complete. It has been awhile since my last blog post because, you see, I am about to step forward in a new way.

As I write this, I am preparing for a total knee replacement tomorrow. For me, this is just the culmination of the evolution I have been experiencing the past year. It started with the internal, emotional, mental side of me, and as I opened more and stepped out of the fear, my physical body began its response.

First it was the neck surgery in October that released the blockage in my throat and eye chakras. I began to see and speak with greater clarity.

And now, I prepare today for a total knee replacement this morning – the final step of moving forward! I become a Brand New Me!

Fear no longer has a place in my decision making process. Fear is no longer an infinite wall blocking me from going to a place where I know I belong. The word Fear is now changed to a new meaning.

F – Forward

E – Energy

A – Anticipating

R – Results

I speak boldly! I speak strong! My actions are sure and steady. And if it seems there is a miss step, it is only a tool to realize my greatest potential.

I am a Brand New Kind of Me!

Absolute Greatness!

27 Jun 2014 2 Comments

by Camille in My Thoughts Exactly Tags: , , , , ,

Music of the Week – Pompeii by Bastille

Link to music/lyrics – http://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/bastille/pompeii.html

I changed how I choose music of the week today, because nothing on my playlist talked to me today. As soon as I opened Pandora, here comes this song. It spoke so completely to me today.

Walls are most definitely tumbling down in my world. To break into the new of creating newness and growth, things have to be purged, broken down – walls have to tumble down.

First of all, my life is my own creation and, frankly, even with all of its challenges and struggles and battles, mine has been full of what has and continues to bring me joy. But children grow and move on with their lives. Life evolves and suddenly you find yourself looking beyond and saying, “Now what?”

My body has changed and those challenges are realizing the evolution of where I chose to go. As I have examined my own vision of my life from here and how I desire to create it, those things that need movement are indeed moving. I am on the precipice of a huge change – for the better.

My physical limitations of the past years is coming to an end, and the mental and emotional limitation I placed on myself is ending with it. In the next few months, I will be challenged beyond what I thought could be. But in that challenge, I expect to use it to create what I truly desire to realize – the me that writes, paints, plays music. How awesome is that? How amazing is that?

It will be interesting to see where this all takes me. I am open to all possibilities and all that Universe has to offer me. Because as those walls tumble down around me, and I stand in the rubble of what has held me back, I close my eyes and feel the great change in and around me. I have been here before, and I chose absolute greatness!

She is all these and more!

18 Mar 2014 2 Comments

by Camille in My Thoughts Exactly Tags: , , , , , , , , , , ,

Music of the Day – Dreams by Stevie Nicks

Link to lyrics – http://www.metrolyrics.com/dreams-lyrics-fleetwood-mac.html

Stuck in my own mind of visions of the girl I left behind so long ago.  She was put into a box, safe and secure, locked up for eternity, I thought.  But she cried and pleaded, the longer she was locked up.  She would not quiet her inner storm – longing to be free and become what she was meant to become.

And so, She wants her freedom – I will not deny that any longer!  Instead, I unlock the lock, open the box, and let her free.  She comes out shyly at first, wary of the world of which she is so unsure.  Is it safe?  At the first sign of trouble, she quickly re-enters her box of confinement – missing the known safety and unsure of what she may experience out there.  Out there, where the big, bad monsters conjured in her mind for so long could exist.

She opens her heart and with timid baby steps, she ventures to the unknown.  There is pain, but not like she felt in her prison.  This pain is something that can be held, examined, used for another time. She feels a burning within her – a shivering deep within.

She does not go back into the box.  Instead, she squats on the ground, waiting just as her primal Mother before her. Anticipating something – she knows not what it is.

Suddenly, an opening and her wings burst forth.  She feels the fire of longing and passion beneath her feet.  She stands – opens her arms, her wings.  And out of the fire, she soars – the phoenix rising from the ashes.  She flies into the air and the storm clouds head on – no fear.

Thunder causes her to tilt her wings, lowering back to the ground.  She lands on the mountaintop and waits, in silent knowing, that her time is now.  The rain comes but does not destroy her feathered wings – she is cleansed from the old fears and the old somber warnings. She knows – she understands – she accepts – she embraces.

She is no longer a prisoner – she is free! Free to be wild and true!  Free to become the magnificence of phoenix, yet this time is different.  She will not consume herself again.  This time she walks, flies, soars, swims, runs, and plays.  She is

            C – Coyote

coyote

            R – Raven

raven soaring

            O – Owl

Owl

            W – Wolf

wolf

She is all these and more!

Nothing to Lose

07 Feb 2014 Leave a comment

by Camille in My Thoughts Exactly Tags: , , , , , ,

Music Muse of the Day – Smooth Sailing by Queens of the Stone Age

Link to YouTube video with lyrics – http://youtu.be/A10nXyxckAE

Link to Lyrics – http://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/queensofthestoneage/smoothsailing.html

Hard, raw, edgy, and ready to move forward leaving the old bonds and mindsets that get in the way of really living – not just existing in a world in which we are and act as we think we are supposed to.  That is where this is taking you, the reader, and me, the writer, today.

When I first opened my playlist, I really was not sure what would appear.  My emotions this morning are so raw and edgy.  The first song that came up spoke to me, but not in a way that I could share with my readers.  The message was one that was superficial and was the tip of the iceberg that only is seen by the naked eye and had nothing to do with what was the enormity beneath the surface.  So, I paused, took a deep breath, and dove in.

I have an affinity for the ocean – cannot swim in it, but the need to be by or close to the ocean is so strong inside of me that to think of being anywhere else puts me in a place of sadness.  Writing this, I consider what it means to me.  I have a water phobia.  I love being there, but cannot get in.  It is not what I see – it is what I cannot see – the unknown – the fear of the power behind it.

Fear of the unknown is debilitating and will keep us from going forward, even when we know that is the right action.  Fear – all encompassing and all devastating.  We sit in our comfortable little worlds built on what we were programmed to do and be wanting more – wanting to do more – wanting to be more, while we watch the world go by us – paralyzed in our own fear of the unknown and of becoming our truth.  We become that which we despise – the status quo.

Are you ready to know what Fear really is?  Read this stanza:

Fear is the hand
That pulls your strings
A useless toy
Pitiful plaything

FEAR4-640x701

That’s all it is.  “A useless toy – pitiful plaything.”  There are times in our lives that we are forced to look deep inside – this is the time for me and for you, if you are reading this.  We look deep inside without fear of what we will find.  Instead, we look deep inside for where our own healing can take place.  Open – stay open!  Do not let fear pull your string any longer! And what you find, if you truly look and are ready to process, will destroy the bonds that fear has on your heart and life.

It’s all in motion
No stoppin’ now
I’ve got nothin’ to lose
And only one way up

Take the risk.  I know I am!  I know I want more!  I know that the status quo – the way “they” told me I was supposed to be – has nothing for me.  I has taken me a long time to get here, but here I am.  So, take the risk.  Take the chance.  You’ve got nothing to lose and everything to gain.