Raw and Vulnerable – Dancing Naked

29 May 2014 Leave a comment

by Camille in My Thoughts Exactly Tags: , , , , , , ,

Music Download for today – Seven Lives by Enigma

Link to music/lyrics – http://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/enigma/sevenlives.html  http://youtu.be/A2s4PXq8F1M

“Seven Lives” by Enigma

Traces, many faces
Lost in the maze of time
Blinded by the darkness
That’s the start of the seven lives

It’s too close, but still too far
Follow your inner guide
Show us who you are (are, are)
In these seven lives

Follow your inner guide
Show me who you are
In these seven lives

It’s too close, but still too far
Show me who you are
In these seven lives

 

We all have many faces – those we share with the ones that are the closest and those that are hidden. What happens when the hidden faces emerge into those that are open? The shadow side becomes exposed, raw – out there for everyone to see. The trick is … Do the ones that say they love us really love us for all that we are? Or do they run and hide when hidden faces show those pieces of us that have been in the shadows for so long?

It is a given that those that stay without a question are earnest in their words and feelings. What is not a given is do you stay with yourself when those hidden faces emerge through the shadows, or do you run and hide from your own truth?

That is the most difficult to do sometimes. The challenge is to take each of those faces and really look deep into the eyes. Where is the belonging? Where is the home? The doubts – the fears – the scaries – they will all emerge sometime. What do you do when they come out to play?

Well, for me, I give them their own names and personalities and write them in books or paint them on a canvas. I look at their personalities and ask where the belonging is. Is the belonging to be a part of me or shall I hold and embrace that part of me and let it go? To be sure, there are faces that are scary or scared, but there are those that need to be a part of my life and a part of my beingness. Those? I give birth to, nurture, and if the time comes, I let it go. If it is to remain a part of me and my life, I love it as a part of myself knowing that this is what molded me into who I am at the given moment of time. It could change tomorrow, next week, next month, next year, or in years to come. It matters not because I am ever changing, ever evolving, ever becoming. I believe that when I stop, then this life will be over.

At this moment in time, several faces have emerged that have created a need to take another look at what I need. Some are difficult and have been buried for many years, even from the one that is the closest to me, and as I navigate through the exploration and realization of this part of me, there are some thoughts and feelings that just cannot be expressed. There are specters that appear attempting to undo what I know has been great growth. To those specters, I open my arms wide so that I can become who I am meant to be, finally.

And this is the whole point of Dancing Naked – open, raw, vulnerable. Take it in. Hold it. Love it. Tell it everything is all right.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I Want You to Stay

30 Jan 2014 Leave a comment

by Camille in My Thoughts Exactly Tags: , , , , , , ,

Music Muse of the Day – Stay by Rhianna

Link to song with lyrics – http://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/rihanna/stay.html

Since I made the commitment to do this each day, there have been some days when a random song from my play list that at first just doesn’t make sense.  Today is no exception.  As I listened to the song with the lyrics, I realized that my emotions greatly reflected the song.  Of course, Rhianna’s intention is clearly about a lover.  Mine?  It’s that connection to passions in my life that would be so easy to walk away from, but I would be lost without them.  If I walked away from those passions and dreams forever, a huge piece of me would die.  They live in my shadow self – that part of me that was put on a shelf so long ago, and yet remains waiting to become a part of my life once again.

I facilitate a monthly women’s group called Wild Women, and we have been studying Women Who Run with the Wolves by Dr. Clarissa Pinkola Estes.  This past week was our January meeting.  The chapter was Chapter 8 about the baits and traps that keep us from realizing our passions.  The story was The Red Shoes.  In the story, a little girl desires red shoes but is too poor to purchase them, so she makes her own.  She is taken in by a wealthy old woman who burns her red shoes because they are not good enough for her new way of life – her new gilded cage.  The little girl gets a replacement pair of red shoes – all shiny and bright, but they are poisonous and make her dance and dance without rest until she finally cuts off her feet to be free. 

The handmade red shoes were her dreams and passions, and when she became trapped in that gilded cage of what the world said was right and perfect, she lost those red shoes only to miss them so much that she eagerly took replacements that were dangerous and caused her to become someone she was not – someone that society said she should be.  When she realized the futility of being someone that was not her true self, instead of finding a way out of it, she cut her own feet off becoming a shell of what she was. 

We all have walked away from dreams and passions for one reason or another only to replace them with what society says we should be and do.  I have, but in realizing the dreams and passions turned away, I call them back.  As I call them back, I ask them to “show me something!”  They say, “If you dare, come a little closer.”  I move closer knowing that there is a danger there that might lead me to a place that is quite different from who and what I have been for a very long time.  And yet, I know that I cannot turn away.  I know that my life depends on reconnecting with that passion and dream. 

This stanza speaks to all of us who are not living as we know we should.

It’s not much of a life you’re living
It’s not just something you take–it’s given

We have been given these incredible gifts and talents, and without nurturing them and allowing them to have a life, we have no life.  She says in the song:

Funny you’re the broken one but I’m the only one who needed saving
‘Cause when you never see the light it’s hard to know which one of us is caving.

Who is the broken one?  Our shadow selves – that part of us that is connected to the gifts and talents and the dreams that are waiting to come back out – the red shoes.  I want my red shoes to stay.  I know that I cannot live without them.  To my shadow self and my dreams so long ago put away, I want you to stay!