The Liebster Award – I was Nominated! So Cool!

One Lovely Blog Award

I Won!

 

Yes, I am a Liebster Award nominee! What does that mean? Well, it means that one of my fellow bloggers thought enough about me to nominate my blog for the Liebster Award.

So what is the Liebster Award and what is it doing on my blog? The Liebster Award concept is like a pay it forward kudos to small bloggers. As I was researching this award, I saw that there are several minimum follower numbers going around, but one thing stays the same. A fellow blogger has read my blog and thought enough of me as a writer and my blog to nominate me for this. I have to say that I was more than a little blown over by it. Here’s why.

I believe that I am a good writer. I mean my college instructors always say so and I receive a lot of praise for my writing. But, as it seems with most artists (yes, writers are very much artists), we are our own worst critics. I read so many other people and think, “Wow, they are really good!” And I fall into the trap of they-are-so-much-better-than-I-am mind.

There are times when I am almost too afraid to share what I have written. What if they don’t like it? What if it sounds stupid? What if – what if – what if!

This year I am changing all that, and this award is the impetus for that change. Receiving this from Tess Bartlett at Whisperings of the Mind, the one who nominated me, gave me the courage to say, “Hell, yeah! I’m a writer!” And since Tess was so kind to nominate me, other blogs have invited me to write as a guest blogger. My poetry written under a pen name is being published in February, with royalties, and I have received a writing gig for a lingerie company in Arizona – paid writing gig.

This blog, Dancing Naked, has taken a life of its own since I started it. I didn’t start out very committed to it and wrote sporadically. Last year, I started a five day a week blogging journey in which I played a random song from my music playlist and wrote my emotional response to the song. That journey was painful and ecstatic at the same time. I grew so much because I was forced to really take a look at the deep, dark emotions and fears that were buried inside.

And now, as 2015 has taken hold, my writing is changing – for the better, I think. I have changed the name somewhat to Dancing Naked from the Heart. That is what this blog is all about. Being open, raw, and vulnerable to share my innermost fears and thoughts with my readers, because somewhere in there, we have all felt the same. Somewhere and sometime, we all have wanted to become better, become our true selves, become what we know in our hearts we were meant to be.

As I look at what has happened since 2015 started, I am certain I am on the right path – maybe I should say the write path. I am so honored to be a Liebster Award nominee and to be able to share with my readers a little more of myself. I share what I feel deep inside with the intent that someone somewhere out there feels the same, and maybe, just maybe, I can make some small difference in someone’s life.

Oh, and to Tess! Thank you from the bottom of my heart for being a part of my own personal growth!

 

For those bloggers I nominate, here are the rules. Remember, this is a pay it forward award that recognizes smaller blogs and lets the world know they exist. So, here is how the Liebster Award works:

1)  Nominate 11 bloggers with less than 200 followers.

2) Acknowledge and link back to the person who nominated you.

3) Answer the 11 questions asked by the person who nominated you.

4) Share 11 random facts about yourself.

5) Give your nominees 11 questions to answer on their blog when they post about the Liebster Award.

Here are my nominees! I do have a confession. There are a couple that are just over the minimum 200, but they are amazing bloggers and need to be shared. And there is one that is brand new, but he is such a good writer that he deserves to be noted. So here are my nominees. I hope you visit their blogs, read, enjoy, follow, and share! You won’t regret it! I nominate:

Z. Budapest https://zbudapest.wordpress.com/

Wolf Soul https://reflectionsofawolfsoul.wordpress.com/

May https://maydesertflower.wordpress.com/

Jyoti http://jcisnowjs.com/

Emma http://emmawrightsblog.com/

Nam Joti http://spiritualallegory.com/

Jeremy https://jeremymartinson.wordpress.com/

Linda https://ommons.wordpress.com/

K.L. https://secretlydeviant.wordpress.com/

Ruben http://torturedcyclone.blogspot.com

Shae https://shaevere.wordpress.com/

And here are the questions for my nominees –

1)         What is the best thing that has ever happened to you?

2)         If you could live anywhere in the world, where would it be?

3)         Why do you write?

4)         What makes you sing and dance with joy?

5)         What color describes you best and why?

6)         What does love mean to you?

7)         What is your hidden talent?

8)         What is the one thing that few people know about you?

9)         What does family mean to you?

10)       What stops you from being your best?

11)       You were just given one million dollars. What is the first thing you would do?

 

Tess Bartlett asked these questions of me, and here are my answers:

1)         What did you want to be when you were a child?

My strongest desire when I was a little girl was to be a concert pianist first and an award winning writer and artist second.

2)         What makes your heart and soul sing?

My heart and soul sings when I create art and poetry. While I love blogging and writing stories, my passion and love are painting and poetry. What especially gives me joy is creating a piece of artwork and writing a poem that evokes the emotions within the painting. I am singing at the top of my lungs with that!

3)         What is your favorite topic to write/blog about?

My favorite topic to write about are personal thoughts and wisdom learned through experience in my own life and sharing how I overcame tremendous obstacles to arrive where I am today.

4)         If you could do one thing every day until the day you died what would it be?

There is only one thing that hit my mind, and that is write! Whether it is a short story, writing a novel, but most of all writing poetry, I must do this every day of my life.

5)         What is your biggest fear?

My biggest fear in my life is not having love! I love with my whole heart, and to not feel that kind of love myself, frankly, terrifies me.

6)         How do you overcome fear?

Ah, overcoming fear! Well, the only way I know to overcome a fear is to write about it, and write and write and write. Write about every little deep, dark emotion and thought until it’s all written out of my mind.

7)         What does creativity mean to you?

Creativity? I truly believe that each and every moment of our lives are spent creating. Each thought in our mind creates our world outside of us. Being a creative, to me, is also about taking those fears, emotions, and feelings and turning them into art, music, words, or a combination of all three, of some sort of fashion, and sharing it with others.

8)         What does home mean to you?

Home is where I feel safe and protected. Home is a place, either physical or not, where my heart feels safe and cared for. I can be by myself or with someone else, but if I’m safe, cared for, and protected, I’m home.

9)         If you had to pick one word to describe how you intend to be in 2015 what would it be?

One word for my beingness in 2015? BE!

Yep, just BE. I spend so much time doing this and that, and I forget sometimes to just be. So, while I am creating in 2015, I will BE!

10)       If you could travel somewhere tomorrow where would it be, and why?

My dream has always been to travel to France and explore the countryside. I would love to stay in a country chateau and spend the time painting and writing and photographing. That would be heaven!

11)       What is your secret talent?

My secret talent? I love to sing. In fact, I sang a lot when I was younger and was considered very good. I have always wanted to have my own band and sing in coffee houses. Oh, I also play the piano, used to play the guitar, and play the Native American flute. So, playing music and singing – not too many know about that.

And last, 11 random facts about myself!

Fact #1 – I sang when I was a teenager with a traveling youth gospel group, Up With People. I even played the guitar and wrote music.

Fact #2 – I was considered a child prodigy at the age of 10 as a pianist and was offered an audition at Julliard. Mom and Dad said no. They just couldn’t see to move to New York if I was accepted.

Fact #3 – I once planned to run away from home to San Francisco when I was 14. My bags were packed and my plans made. Well, somewhat. At least to get to the bus station and buy my ticket.

Fact #4 – I love two flowers, roses – all kinds – and camellias! I love them both and if I could, I would have them all over my house, on every table.

Fact #5 – My dream home is a cottage by the ocean. It has to be on the West Coast high on a cliff overlooking the ocean. And I have to have a path so I can walk down to the ocean – not to swim, but to just sit and look and think and write!

Fact #6 – I sing like I mean it when I’m driving by myself in the car. Yep, I’m that crazy lady you see at stop lights rocking out to a great song. That is one time I have absolutely no inhibitions.

Fact #7 – I love being alone at home. I don’t like being alone so much as I like being able to do what I want and when I want without feeling like I’m neglecting anyone or anything.

Fact #8 – I have always wanted a nose job. Yep, I have a prominent nose, and even though I am not as self-conscious about it as when I was younger, I would have plastic surgery for a slightly smaller nose in a heartbeat.

Fact #9 – I want to have my own band and sing Stevie Nicks covers, and Bonnie Raitt covers, and blues and Nina Simone covers. Hell, I just wanna sing like I’m in my car!

Fact #10 – I love to photograph things and people and would love to spend time doing just that. There is nothing like getting that great shot of a sunset, a person caught in an intimate moment or in pensive thought, an animal being itself, a flower just opening – catching the emotion of something on camera is happiness.

Fact #11 – I am shy by nature, even though it doesn’t seem like it. When I meet someone new or I’m in a crowd of people I don’t know well, I tend to stay back and watch the interactions. I’m really good at reading people, and I tend to navigate to only one or two to which I resonate.

Final Thoughts

I cannot wait to read what my nominees say about themselves. And I cannot wait to read comments from my readers as well.

To my readers? Thank you! Thank you for staying with me through the years of my journey here and my growth! Thank you for continuing to read what I have to say and liking it!

And most of all – always dance naked from your heart!

 

 

Brand New Kind of Me!

This week’s music – Brand New Me by Alicia Keyes

Music/lyrics link – http://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/aliciakeys/brandnewme.html

Today, I could just copy and paste the lyrics, and my blog would be complete. It has been awhile since my last blog post because, you see, I am about to step forward in a new way.

As I write this, I am preparing for a total knee replacement tomorrow. For me, this is just the culmination of the evolution I have been experiencing the past year. It started with the internal, emotional, mental side of me, and as I opened more and stepped out of the fear, my physical body began its response.

First it was the neck surgery in October that released the blockage in my throat and eye chakras. I began to see and speak with greater clarity.

And now, I prepare today for a total knee replacement this morning – the final step of moving forward! I become a Brand New Me!

Fear no longer has a place in my decision making process. Fear is no longer an infinite wall blocking me from going to a place where I know I belong. The word Fear is now changed to a new meaning.

F – Forward

E – Energy

A – Anticipating

R – Results

I speak boldly! I speak strong! My actions are sure and steady. And if it seems there is a miss step, it is only a tool to realize my greatest potential.

I am a Brand New Kind of Me!

Let Go and Dream

Music for the Day – Dreams by Stevie Nicks

Link to Music/Lyrics – http://www.songlyrics.com/stevie-nicks/dreams-lyrics/

Sometimes, in our lives we feel we have lost the dream we once imagined. We start off with these visions of where our lives should go and dreams of the most amazing events happening in our life.

Then we reach a certain age, and look back wondering what happened to the dreams and visions of that young girl who entered this life full of expectations of how things would be. I remember that girl – scared and fearful that the man she chose to share her life with would leave realizing that she wasn’t so great after all and that it was just an illusion.

I have reached that age when the children are grown and living their own lives. And I still have those dreams that remain strong and very real. You see, I just put them on hold for a while. I am still young enough to make them a reality and old enough to recognize how it plays out according to my own self-limitations, and no other.

I am pursuing the dream of writing, working on the dream of painting, and envisioning the dream of playing music. It’s all there – inside of me just waiting to blossom into what I had dreamed.

Many obstacles in my life have provided that which comes to life in my writing and painting. Poetry is just becoming another avenue of expression. The music? I’m thinking getting another guitar and re-acquainting myself with an instrument that saved my life in my early teens, besides the piano.

One thing that I have learned is that challenges and “players” will come and go, but those visions and dreams remain. I kept them to myself, but now, I feel the freedom to let go, throw them in the air, and see where they land! I cannot depend on any one person or event to make it happen for me. That is up to me, and I am on the edge of letting loose. I will jump and fly, landing where I land with the old expectations of the girl of so long ago with one difference – she has moved out of that scared feeling and taking the courage to step out.

I really do not know where this will take me, but I am open to the possibilities. I am open to embracing all of the amazingness of me! I am open to embracing where I am taken regardless of the path to get there, because I depend on me, and me alone, to make this happen.

Oh, that man I shared my life with that I was afraid would discover the truth about me and would leave. Well, 40 years later, he is still here. He knows the truth about me, and yet, he still holds on. Amazing!

Look in the Mirror

 

Music of the Week – Mirrors by Justin Timberlake

Link to Music/Lyrics – http://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/justintimberlake/mirrors.html

There was a meme that showed up on my Facebook timeline this morning that said, “If you’re searching for that one person that will change your life, take a look in the mirror.” This song by Justin Timberlake is another reminder of the truth of that statement.

We all have been in the place where we look outside of ourselves for that one person or one grass-is-greener moment that will bring into our lives what we want. And all along that person is the one staring back at us in the mirror.

What do I see when I look in the mirror? I see a woman, strong and independent, yet full of love and passion and joy. For the most part, that is how I feel, but I admit that there are times when I wish she would just put her hand out and yank me in. That is when life brings a hit-in-the-gut moment that just throws the proverbial 2×4 into my head.

What I realize in those moments is that the woman staring back at me in the mirror is worth far more than what outside forces would have me believe. That woman is the most amazing creature in the world, and I am fortunate that she is me! And in that moment, I know that those I let into my world are, indeed, fortunate to know me.

Not because I have some overblown ego or some unrealistic view of myself, but because I have knowledge and wisdom and life events that have molded me and made me who I am. Because I have had challenges in my life and have overcome them to become the amazing me that I am. And because with each event that occurs in my life, I take the lesson needing learned and allow the emotions to be embraced and experienced.

It is this moment of my life that I choose to share my innermost feelings and thoughts with you, those that take the time to read Dancing Naked. So, with that I say to you, Look in the mirror! Find that most amazing you that really is there. There may be times when you do not see the perfection of you in that mirror, but it is there. Allow it and allow yourself to experience what is in your life.

I am really understanding and loving the woman in the mirror, and I do not want to lose her. I refuse to lose her, and I will not allow anyone or anything to take her away from me. How about you? Will let you let your mirror image go or will you embrace it for all its worth?

 

Me

The Spark of Living

Music of the Day – Into the Fire by Sara MacLauchlan

Link to music/lyrics – http://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/sarahmclachlan/intothefire.html

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I have settled many times in my life for what I believed was the “right” thing to do – that which caused the least resistance and calmed the waters. And when I have done that, it is my own inner storm that rages inside building until the thunder rolls. I settled into an existence – not a life – because that was what was expected.

I often felt the fire creeping up, beckoning me to jump in experiencing fire and passion – life.

I say no, and I look back to see what I might have missed. Often I look back with regret knowing that I may have missed something that would have brought a spark of life into my very beingness. The times I have said yes were magnificent. So why say no?

Fear, moving out of my comfort zone are the only answers there are. I no longer wish to play it safe and do what others expect. I no longer wish to keep the waters still. Don’t make waves? Hell, no! I’m moving into the fire! I know there are risks, and I know that I will be pushed past my comfort zone, but it is into that fire that I become purified – whole. It is the fire that reignites what has been extinguished long ago.

I am an ever evolving woman and the masks that hid my safe place are falling off and burning away in the fire. I am becoming the me I want to be. It may be difficult for those around me that see me as they wish to see me, but they will become accustomed to me. At least, the me that no longer plays it safe. The me that lives her passion. The me that does not get burned by the fire but is filled with desire – with heart passion – with the spark of living!

Here Comes Another Spring!

The Music Today is – Another Spring by Nina Simone

Link to music/lyrics – http://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/ninasimone/anotherspring.html

I’ve reached an age when the children are grown and have their own families. I am fortunate in that they all live very close, so we are still a close family. I think we always will be. But, in this age I have reached, there are things that I am experiencing that I did not expect.

I admit this latest experience has thrown me for a loop, and there have been moments when I wondered, just as the old woman in Nina’s song, why I still bothered. And since that day last week when I got the call from my doctor, there have been moments when I questioned if this was some ridiculous karmic debt that had to be paid. Of was this some kind of cosmic joke to see just how strong I really am.

And then, I stop to think about my friends who have allowed me in the last few days to talk, empty, cry, rail, rant, and most of all hold me in their hearts. While my experience is not what a lot of people experience, it is mine. And it is something I did not expect. And the naysayers can talk and laugh and say I’m over reacting, but you know what? This is my experience and it is something with which I will live for the rest of my life.

This is not about the experience, it is about being grateful for my friends. Being grateful for people in my life who hold me in their hearts. Being grateful for my art with which I sort all kinds of emotions. Being grateful for family that knows and allows me to be frustrated but holds me anyway. Being grateful for my writing that allows me to sort through the words I want to say to express my heart and my vulnerability. And most of all, being grateful for the beauty and amazingness of me! My body may not function the way I expected, but it is working still and I can go on to dance, play, sing, paint, write, and be!

And like the old woman in the song? Here comes another Spring!

Raw and Vulnerable – Dancing Naked

Music Download for today – Seven Lives by Enigma

Link to music/lyrics – http://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/enigma/sevenlives.html  http://youtu.be/A2s4PXq8F1M

“Seven Lives” by Enigma

Traces, many faces
Lost in the maze of time
Blinded by the darkness
That’s the start of the seven lives

It’s too close, but still too far
Follow your inner guide
Show us who you are (are, are)
In these seven lives

Follow your inner guide
Show me who you are
In these seven lives

It’s too close, but still too far
Show me who you are
In these seven lives

 

We all have many faces – those we share with the ones that are the closest and those that are hidden. What happens when the hidden faces emerge into those that are open? The shadow side becomes exposed, raw – out there for everyone to see. The trick is … Do the ones that say they love us really love us for all that we are? Or do they run and hide when hidden faces show those pieces of us that have been in the shadows for so long?

It is a given that those that stay without a question are earnest in their words and feelings. What is not a given is do you stay with yourself when those hidden faces emerge through the shadows, or do you run and hide from your own truth?

That is the most difficult to do sometimes. The challenge is to take each of those faces and really look deep into the eyes. Where is the belonging? Where is the home? The doubts – the fears – the scaries – they will all emerge sometime. What do you do when they come out to play?

Well, for me, I give them their own names and personalities and write them in books or paint them on a canvas. I look at their personalities and ask where the belonging is. Is the belonging to be a part of me or shall I hold and embrace that part of me and let it go? To be sure, there are faces that are scary or scared, but there are those that need to be a part of my life and a part of my beingness. Those? I give birth to, nurture, and if the time comes, I let it go. If it is to remain a part of me and my life, I love it as a part of myself knowing that this is what molded me into who I am at the given moment of time. It could change tomorrow, next week, next month, next year, or in years to come. It matters not because I am ever changing, ever evolving, ever becoming. I believe that when I stop, then this life will be over.

At this moment in time, several faces have emerged that have created a need to take another look at what I need. Some are difficult and have been buried for many years, even from the one that is the closest to me, and as I navigate through the exploration and realization of this part of me, there are some thoughts and feelings that just cannot be expressed. There are specters that appear attempting to undo what I know has been great growth. To those specters, I open my arms wide so that I can become who I am meant to be, finally.

And this is the whole point of Dancing Naked – open, raw, vulnerable. Take it in. Hold it. Love it. Tell it everything is all right.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Meet Baubo!

Baubo 1

Meet Baubo, the Belly Goddess! She is here to remind us that a woman’s sexuality is not a thing of obscenity and shame, but a powerful, creative, sacred place in which dreams are realized and created. We are all mothers that become impregnated with the seeds of our passions and dreams. We gestate those seeds and nurture them until they are ready to birth. Then we open wide and give birth to our fullness and our passions and our Beings!

We are Baubo, and in our bellies, we create, enjoy, and dance in wonderment at our beauty.

For centuries, we as women have been cast as seductresses and wanton creatures bent on the taking men down to a base level of beingness. It started with the story of Eve and has continued from there. The reality is that even Jesus loved women and held the women disciples in high regard, but men were jealous of our spiritual nature and our creative nature and continued the story of the evilness and dirtiness of women.

But the Sacredness of our own natures will not allow us to continue to believe that paradigm. Baubo reminds us of our beauty and that our sensuality is not dirty or base. Our value does not depend on what man says we are. Our value depends on what we know deep down inside. We are beautiful, nurturing, loving, and sensual. And we are good!

Whatever the Hell I Choose!

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Music Muse – Into the Fire by Sarah McLachlan

Link to Music/Lyrics – http://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/sarahmclachlan/intothefire.html

I started changing – evolving – finding myself – about 6 years ago. One of the changes I knew that needed to change was my name. So many attachments and fears were attached to that old name, but back then I was unsure how that change would take place. After a few years of this name and that name and trying out how each felt, one appeared in my mind that, at that time, seemed perfect. But in the last three years, even that changed.

What I discovered is that as I opened myself to all of the possibilities and all of the personalities of my selfness, so did the way I accepted myself.  I am a firm believer that words, especially names, have great power.

As I listened to today’s music, Into the Fire, images were conjured of my struggles since the decision to change my name and the fire that has become a part of my being – burning away the old dross and purifying the new to embody what I had always held so deep within but kept buried in the camouflage of my masks.

Once I had accepted my new beingness and thought the name that had attached itself was set, BAM! Another change! So, I have come to this place of knowingness that comes from a deep longing and soul searching.

I have leapt into the fire. I feed the fire. I return to the beginning and those words that were spoken to me so long ago by parents that did not understand how powerful words are.

There is no compromise any longer – no acceptance of what others say I should be. I may still carry some of those old fears attached to my original name, but I have rested in the cleansing waters of the Mother. Those old fears? Now I lovingly embrace them because that little girl I left behind still needs to be held and comforted. She still is afraid of rejection and abandonment.

Abandonment. Ah, that’s the word that causes her to stir. But, as I take on all that my newness brings, there is a quiet strength that brings her comfort. Words that quiet her flames tell her that she is beautiful and even if those around her who do not appreciate her completeness and scoff at her struggle to find that piece of her that was lost so very long ago, she is perfect and whole. She is not broken – she is whole, lovable, and valuable. For those that cannot see that? They are not a part of her world any longer. She can make that choice. I can make that choice.

So, when I am asked by those naysayers and scoffers and those that do not understand, “So, what is your name today?” I say, “Whatever the hell I choose!”

Simply Am

Music of the Day – If I Knew by Bruno Mars

Link to the music/lyrics – http://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/brunomars/ifiknew.html

This past week the message has been about knowing that we are not born broken and that we do not need fixing. This is an old paradigm that was taught to us from the beginning of the god of control, not the god of love. And it is an old paradigm that needs ending to move into one that acknowledges all parts of our selves – even those that were brainwashed into our heads that we are not whole.

Courtney A. Walsh, a writer I greatly respect, posts a lot of wisdom on her Facebook page about this subject, and I have to attribute the following image to her.

 

Dear Human by CAW

This particular song conveys a message of regret for things done in the past, but for me it speaks volumes of letting the past go. Know that in each given moment of time, we are always exactly where we are to be, learning and experiencing exactly what we are. Sometimes, it is so painful that it feels as if the very heart and soul are being ripped open, but it is through the ripping open that we can embrace ourselves and experience. The healing that spews forth from that heart space and from letting go of past judgments and whatifs, is what we create ourselves.

I compare healing not to fixing anymore, but to embracing all the stuff and making it my own. The judgment of good and bad should not even be a part of my consciousness since there is nothing broken or needing fixing. Instead, experiencing even the pain and loss – the hurt is part of our experience here.

I do not have any unequivocal answers to all of this, and there are days that I have very little wisdom. But on those days that I hold wisdom? Those are the days that I embrace each and every part of me. Those are the days that I allow myself to be whatever or whomever I am that day. These are the days that I simply am!

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