Happy Birthday, Momma!

Mothers and daughters have their moments. Me and my mother certainly had ours.

We were estranged for several years, but were able to talk about our past and heal. She finally became the Momma I longed for, and we were able to become friends – Mother and Daughter. I am so grateful.

But cancer stole her away from me. I miss her each day. I miss the relationship we carved out of the pain of our past.

A few weeks before she died, she told me her story – one that I did not know. She showed me documents of her life – wanting me to understand her. I listened and saw the incredible woman she was. She overcame a type of domestic abuse that would have destroyed most women.

And now,  I understand so much more. Since she passed,  each year on her birthday, I read her words and reflect on her life. Each year, I understand so much more. 

If I could sit with her and tell her one thing, it would be, “Momma, I understand. Thank you for doing the best you could. ”

I wrote this poem under my pen name, but want to share it with my readers here. It was written as a poetry prompt on Twitter. The prompt was sent from Momma, I know. The prompt? Topaz tears. Momma’s favorite ring was a blue topaz. Her favorite gemstone was the topaz – both blue and yellow.

Happy Birthday, Momma!

In Memory of Shirley Loraine Harper-Brock

Time passed, Words missed,
Some days, the ache for her touch
Was beyond that last moment kissed,
An emptiness that hurts so much.
Memories of her smile,
Blue eyes sparkling,
Voice across the miles,
Calling me Darling.
Needing her wisdom,
Wishing she was here,
For Momma, I still listen
Through the fall of topaz tears.

Renee Harper-Vacek (CWylde)
 ⓒ 03 / 14 / 15
(Happy Birthday, Momma)

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Happiness Jar Project

I came across a Facebook post by Elizabeth Gilbert, author of Eat, Pray, Love, yesterday about her Happiness Jar Project. In it, she wrote about re-introducing her followers and fans to the idea of the project. As a huge fan of Elizabeth Gilbert, and as someone who is always searching for ways to grasp keeping joy and happiness in my life, I was intrigued.

So I searched for others that had participated and the concept. I couldn’t access her website, but I saw for myself how powerful this one little act could be in my life. I am one who, when I discover something like this, I jump in with both feet full on! Being who I am, I posted on Facebook myself for others who wanted to join me in this.

Within just a few minutes, five of some of my good friends said, “I’M IN!” I created a Facebook Group called The Happiness Jar – Jar of Joy and added these five incredible women as members. The intention was to start today, January 1, 2015.

The group is up and running and I have posted my first post with a picture of my own happiness jar. I hope the rest of the women post pictures of theirs as well, but I’m in this. Today, I created a little altar by my bedside as a way to end each evening with a prayer, intention, and remembering that one small thing from the day of whatever brought me happiness that day.

What is so important about this? No matter what kind of day I have had, I know that there has to be something that is a happiness possibility. And by writing this moment, this even, this one thing on a piece of paper and putting in in my jar, I go to bed on a note of happiness and joy! Instead of going to bed focused on what went wrong that day? I go to bed focused on what went right!

As I write this to share on my blog, Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram, and I think Pinterest, I am excited to share yet another journey with my readers here. And I am so blessed that I have found an author, Elizabeth Gilbert, who has become one of my own personal influential people in my life. I do not know her personally, nor have I ever had contact with her, but her insight and her humanness and the way she shares a part of herself with her readers and fans have influenced my own writing.

I am leaving The Happiness Jar – Jar of Joy Facebook Group open until the end of the month so that anyone who wants to join in can. It’s never too late!

The concept? Take a jar to designate as your Happiness Jar. Each evening, write one thing or event that brought you happiness that day and put it in the jar. On those days that just are not that great? Take one out and read it – focus on it – smile and say thank you! At the end of the year, take the time to read each one and see just how far you have come in the year. You could make a collage, paste in a journal, or put them in a box with the year on it for safe keeping. Some families have even made Christmas decorations out of them. I haven’t decided what I will do with them, but it will be something that is meaningful!

I am so looking forward to sharing this journal with you here on Dancing Naked. Feel free to join me on Facebook and share your impressions. I think today’s bit of happiness is being able to write this and share with my friends!

Oh, and here is my Happiness Jar Altar!

happiness Jar altar

Under the Blood Moon ⓒ

I stand under the Blood Moon
Watching with humbled reverence,
She sends her embrace, her sweet tune
Of strength, love, beauty’s essence.

As I draw down the moon
Into my sacred, holy place,
She enters in sweet commune
And blesses my heart’s space.

Knowledge and understanding
She graciously imparts,
Her gifts, notwithstanding,
Open the hidden arts.

She raises her daughter in adoration,
Imbues Her sacred wisdom,
I offer complete devotion
And dance to Her entrancing rhythm.

Dancing Her dance of ecstatic vision,
She demands surrender of body inflamed
An age old ritual, ancient tradition,
Lifting me to Her celestial plane.

It is in my open devotion
She allows my hallowed pilgrimage,
I enter Her holy temple as Her chosen,
Beatified, this my birth heritage.

CReneeHW ⓒ 10 / 8 / 14

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