Dancing Naked

Music of the Day – Stand Back by Stevie Nicks

Link to music/lyrics – http://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/stevienicks/standback.html

Words are often so different than actions, aren’t they?  And that seems to be the greatest difference between a real connection with someone or ourselves and just a flyby connection.  What’s a flyby connection?

Well, let’s talk about that.  When we put ourselves in the mix of a friendship or love relationship, we make judgments based on our own experiences and what we see in another.  Often the person with whom we desire to connect reminds us of something either known in the past or something we want to know and experience.  Rarely is there just a connection based on no judgment.

We decide how much we wish to invest based on those early moments as does the other person.  There may be something that is missing at first that creates a need to hold back.  We may, or the other person may, say the words, but are the actions there?  Does the other person say words of care and should dos and maybes?  After saying those words, does she or he get so busy in their lives that they neglect building the friendship or relationship only to say later that they just got so busy they couldn’t find the time?  Do you do this as well?  This is a flyby connection.  There may be something there, but not enough to really connect at a deep level.

This is a time when release of the relationship has to happen.  If it just isn’t there, it’s not there!  Don’t continue to hold onto something just because there might not be another.

Now, let’s talk about honoring yourself in this.  If you are the one holding back, why?  What is it that prevents you from truly buying into this?  Release it!  Oh, we all have our flybys and our acquaintances that are part of our lives, but if it is a real connection you are desiring and you are the one holding back, really look at the reasons.  Pick up the rock and look at the underneath that sits in the dirt.  What purpose is served here?  Look for the purpose!  If you can find none, then release and walk away.

On the other hand, if you are the one putting it all in there and the other holds back, ask yourself why you stay?  Is there some need that you need to fill?  What is your purpose in this as well? Why can’t you let it go? Hope that it will change is nice, but rarely is there a change.  If the other person doesn’t feel it, you can’t force it.  Release it!  If staying is only causing pain, and you just can’t walk away, look at the need for that pain.  What service does it give you?  Does the other person remind you of someone in your past for which you need closure?  If that is the answer, then write about your feelings, talk to someone you trust, explore the reasons, find closure.  Then release it!

It is only through actions backing up words are true connections made, regardless of the relationship involved.  It is through coming to the table with impeccable words and integrity in the heart that true connections are made.  Look at what is not serving you and … Release It!