Here Comes Another Spring!

30 May 2014 Leave a comment

by Camille in My Thoughts Exactly Tags: , , , , , , , ,

The Music Today is – Another Spring by Nina Simone

Link to music/lyrics – http://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/ninasimone/anotherspring.html

I’ve reached an age when the children are grown and have their own families. I am fortunate in that they all live very close, so we are still a close family. I think we always will be. But, in this age I have reached, there are things that I am experiencing that I did not expect.

I admit this latest experience has thrown me for a loop, and there have been moments when I wondered, just as the old woman in Nina’s song, why I still bothered. And since that day last week when I got the call from my doctor, there have been moments when I questioned if this was some ridiculous karmic debt that had to be paid. Of was this some kind of cosmic joke to see just how strong I really am.

And then, I stop to think about my friends who have allowed me in the last few days to talk, empty, cry, rail, rant, and most of all hold me in their hearts. While my experience is not what a lot of people experience, it is mine. And it is something I did not expect. And the naysayers can talk and laugh and say I’m over reacting, but you know what? This is my experience and it is something with which I will live for the rest of my life.

This is not about the experience, it is about being grateful for my friends. Being grateful for people in my life who hold me in their hearts. Being grateful for my art with which I sort all kinds of emotions. Being grateful for family that knows and allows me to be frustrated but holds me anyway. Being grateful for my writing that allows me to sort through the words I want to say to express my heart and my vulnerability. And most of all, being grateful for the beauty and amazingness of me! My body may not function the way I expected, but it is working still and I can go on to dance, play, sing, paint, write, and be!

And like the old woman in the song? Here comes another Spring!

Bring on the Rain!

27 Mar 2014 Leave a comment

by Camille in My Thoughts Exactly Tags: , , , , , ,

Music of the Morning – I Think it’s Going to Rain Today by Nina Simone

Link to music/lyrics – http://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/ninasimone/ithinkitsgoingtoraintoday.html

This song has so much in it, and it would be easy to write simply about the evocative lyrics and their meaning. But I think it would be too obvious, and the obvious is rarely what comes to my mind in my writing, especially today.

While there is so much to write concerning how humans treat each other and those that have much less than others, and I am reminded that how we treat others is indicative of how we treat ourselves. I have found that when self-love is lacking, so is love for others. If we cannot love ourselves, then how can we love another? Impossible! And I am talking about real love for ourselves – not just a sound bite or perfunctory type of love – real, honest, raw love!

That is an obvious. Here is the not so obvious. What happens when we take a friendship for granted? Does that mean we take ourselves for granted? Yes, I firmly believe so. Here is why!

Each morning, we get out of bed, shower, dress – whatever our regular routine is. Then we go out the door to work, school, where ever it is we go to. We are the “Scarecrows dressed in the latest styles with frozen faces to keep love away.” We keep our heads down focused on what is coming for the day, not thinking about our own self-care or our own well-being. We take for granted the smallest acts of kindness for ourselves.

Self-care is not always about eating right, exercising, and getting the right amount of sleep, even though that is a big piece. Self-care to me is that quick look in the mirror and a smile at myself, taking the time to take a moment to breathe and appreciate who I am, and taking a moment to acknowledge all those things, events, people – stuff – for which I am so grateful!

When I take the time to do this, I treat my friends and people I care about so much better. I enjoy my day, and when something occurs that threatens to bring the negative thoughts in my life, it is easier to just smile and breathe.

The act of self-care and self-love means that I am in this life to live – not just exist. I want to invite love into my life – not chase it away.

Allowing the rain to fall, cleansing and washing away the surface “dirt” brings a fresh new start and allowing the rain to fall and feeling the newness and immense possibilities of a fresh new start brings me, and I hope you, the joy of life, the joy of love, the joy of friendship, and yes, the joy of loving myself.

I love the sun, but I say today, bring on the rain!