moving forward | Dancing Naked

What is This All About, Anyway?

18 Sep 2014 6 Comments

by Camille in My Thoughts Exactly Tags: dancing naked, empowerment, joy, Life, moving forward, Renee

No music today! What? Well, I wanted to take a little different focus with my readers today.

I have reached 100 followers on this blog, and I would love to be able to connect with more. But a lot of people may not realize what Dancing Naked is all about, so I am taking this morning to offer why Dancing Naked is here.

A few years ago, one of my good friends loaned me a book that got me thinking about my own life. The book? Dancing Naked at the Edge of Dawn by Kris Radish. I provided the link so you could get the book yourself. I highly recommend it. I won’t give away the story here, but suffice it to say that Kris opened something inside of me with her book and the story that made me realize I had lived a pretty fearful life.

Quite a few years ago, another friend who is an amazing photographer and artist called her studio Dancing Barefoot Photography. Add that to Kris Radish’s book, and visions of dancing free from constraints of my own making or from my own reactions to my external and internal forces starting building.

Now, being the ever fearful and cautious woman I have always been, I searched for a way to articulate my own inner feelings of discovery without giving away too much or seeming like a whiny, middle aged woman needing to garner sympathy and throw an ever going pity party.

Blogging seemed like a great idea, so the title of a blog and the format became a focus. I knew I wanted to invoke the word “Dancing,” but I was in no space to borrow from the hint of unbridled joy invoked by the word. After many phrases and titles, the only one that really seemed to fit what I wanted to create was “Dancing Naked.”

The title conveyed exactly what I wanted to share, but, me being me, I had to make sure there was no trademark on the phrase. I found one filed for a wine, but it was abandoned. Crossing my fingers and stepping out there, Dancing Naked was born October 6, 2010.

Posting was very intermittent, but going back and reading some of my earlier posts, I can see how far I have grown. Those that know me know that I have been in the process of changing my name for four years because of some very personal reasons. And as I have grown, that name has changed some. In fact, one of the earlier names still remains on my page.

But through it all, I have attempted to be open and honest with my readers. I have tried to take my readers with me on this journey. The past few years have brought some of the most difficult lessons, and up until last year, there was very little blogging done.

Last year, I started a series of daily blogs taking random songs from my playlist and writing my impressions. That proved to be the greatest challenge and awakening process. And now, I find myself going back to the music format, but needing to move forward.

So, I will take this moment to dance naked a little here. Ready? In October, I had a very large cyst/tumor removed from the base of my skull that was causing blurred vision, headaches, and dizziness. It was benign, thank the Goddess! But that opened my voice. I released what I felt was a giant yoke around my neck keeping me from speaking my truth – my real truth.

In May, I was diagnosed as a diabetic. Damn! Didn’t see that one coming. My beautiful new doctor made sure to impress upon me that is was due to extreme stress. So, a drastic diet change, the addition of pharmaceuticals, and amping up my meditation practice entered my life. In June, I was scheduled for a total right knee replacement since my knee was gone. That happened in July.

And now? Well, eight weeks later, I am moving and doing great! No more neck issues, my blood sugar is controlled, and I have a new knee! I still have some pain and limited mobility, but rehab has taught me a lot about myself. Mainly that I have been stuck in fear of doing the wrong thing for so long that I was missing out on a lot of joy and passion in my life. I was the need to step out of my ego and pride and move forward in my life with my passion.

My passion? Writing! Painting! Creating! So, here you and I are at this very moment in time together. Dancing Naked is my baby where I share my journey with you! Sometimes, it’s not very pretty, but it is honest, raw, and my truth! I would love to add more readers and share with more in the hopes that we can all find our way in the world to grow and feel free to Dance Naked once in a while.

Moving Forward

29 Aug 2014 1 Comment

by Camille in My Thoughts Exactly Tags: dancing naked, dark and light, empowerment, Growth, moving forward

My Music Muse – Hold On by Sarah McLachlan

Link to Music/Lyrics – http://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/sarahmclachlan/holdon.html

My last post was the day of my knee replacement surgery, and it has already been five weeks. Time has gone by so quickly. I have missed my readers and sharing my raw, open, and naked self with all you.

First, I am doing great and moving forward quickly. I was thinking this morning during my usual morning cup of coffee that I have experienced so much in the last five weeks and really needed to share with all of you. So, after dressing and doing my rehab exercises, I came to work in my studio/office. I opened my playlist on the cloud, hit shuffle, and here was this song, Hold On by Sarah McLachlan.

The opening lyrics, “Hold on, Hold on to yourself for this is gonna hurt like hell” is really the only phrase to open what has been brought to the open for me during this time. I am not talking about the physical pain, although that has definitely been a new experience for me. No, I’m talking about the pain of realizing that this event of three is the culmination of what I have been avoiding for a very long time.

In my blog before surgery, I shared that I have lived my life based on fear and that this surgery is the epitome of the final step of moving forward for me. No longer basing decisions based on fear, but moving forward bravely and with courage.

And it has “hurt like hell!” But through this all? I would not change a thing. You see, even when we decide to shed those old beliefs and move forward, Source (or whatever you chose to call it) gets busy and circumstances and events come into your life that make way for the new. It can be so painful, and there are so many times when we wonder what the hell is going on. Haven’t I had enough? But, the desire to move forward is much stronger than the comfort of staying where I was.

This is a tug of war between two spirits within me. Dark and Light? Frankly, it doesn’t matter. What matters is the one spirit knows she needs to move on and the other was (notice the “was”) staying where the comfort is. To quote the song,

At the crossroads I am standing
So now you’re sleeping peaceful
I lie awake and pray
that you’ll be strong tomorrow and we’ll
see another day and we will praise it
and love the light that brings a smile
across your face.

The strength that is within me pushes me forward, and the smile and joy that moving into my passion brings is far beyond what I could imagine. And so, with faith and the support of those around me that get this? I move forward to the world I have imagined and created.

And now playing is Bob Marley’s Three Little Birds – apropos! “Don’t worry ‘bout a thing!”

Brand New Kind of Me!

22 Jul 2014 6 Comments

by Camille in My Thoughts Exactly Tags: dancing naked, fear, moving forward, power, self love, self value, strength, wholeness

This week’s music – Brand New Me by Alicia Keyes

Music/lyrics link – http://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/aliciakeys/brandnewme.html

Today, I could just copy and paste the lyrics, and my blog would be complete. It has been awhile since my last blog post because, you see, I am about to step forward in a new way.

As I write this, I am preparing for a total knee replacement tomorrow. For me, this is just the culmination of the evolution I have been experiencing the past year. It started with the internal, emotional, mental side of me, and as I opened more and stepped out of the fear, my physical body began its response.

First it was the neck surgery in October that released the blockage in my throat and eye chakras. I began to see and speak with greater clarity.

And now, I prepare today for a total knee replacement this morning – the final step of moving forward! I become a Brand New Me!

Fear no longer has a place in my decision making process. Fear is no longer an infinite wall blocking me from going to a place where I know I belong. The word Fear is now changed to a new meaning.

F – Forward

E – Energy

A – Anticipating

R – Results

I speak boldly! I speak strong! My actions are sure and steady. And if it seems there is a miss step, it is only a tool to realize my greatest potential.

I am a Brand New Kind of Me!

Nothing to Lose

07 Feb 2014 Leave a comment

by Camille in My Thoughts Exactly Tags: empowerment, fear, moving forward, Ocean, power, smooth sailing, strength

Music Muse of the Day – Smooth Sailing by Queens of the Stone Age

Link to YouTube video with lyrics – http://youtu.be/A10nXyxckAE

Link to Lyrics – http://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/queensofthestoneage/smoothsailing.html

Hard, raw, edgy, and ready to move forward leaving the old bonds and mindsets that get in the way of really living – not just existing in a world in which we are and act as we think we are supposed to. That is where this is taking you, the reader, and me, the writer, today.

When I first opened my playlist, I really was not sure what would appear. My emotions this morning are so raw and edgy. The first song that came up spoke to me, but not in a way that I could share with my readers. The message was one that was superficial and was the tip of the iceberg that only is seen by the naked eye and had nothing to do with what was the enormity beneath the surface. So, I paused, took a deep breath, and dove in.

I have an affinity for the ocean – cannot swim in it, but the need to be by or close to the ocean is so strong inside of me that to think of being anywhere else puts me in a place of sadness. Writing this, I consider what it means to me. I have a water phobia. I love being there, but cannot get in. It is not what I see – it is what I cannot see – the unknown – the fear of the power behind it.

Fear of the unknown is debilitating and will keep us from going forward, even when we know that is the right action. Fear – all encompassing and all devastating. We sit in our comfortable little worlds built on what we were programmed to do and be wanting more – wanting to do more – wanting to be more, while we watch the world go by us – paralyzed in our own fear of the unknown and of becoming our truth. We become that which we despise – the status quo.

Are you ready to know what Fear really is? Read this stanza:

Fear is the hand
That pulls your strings
A useless toy
Pitiful plaything

That’s all it is. “A useless toy – pitiful plaything.” There are times in our lives that we are forced to look deep inside – this is the time for me and for you, if you are reading this. We look deep inside without fear of what we will find. Instead, we look deep inside for where our own healing can take place. Open – stay open! Do not let fear pull your string any longer! And what you find, if you truly look and are ready to process, will destroy the bonds that fear has on your heart and life.

It’s all in motion
No stoppin’ now
I’ve got nothin’ to lose
And only one way up

Take the risk. I know I am! I know I want more! I know that the status quo – the way “they” told me I was supposed to be – has nothing for me. I has taken me a long time to get here, but here I am. So, take the risk. Take the chance. You’ve got nothing to lose and everything to gain.