There for the Taking

09 Oct 2023 Leave a comment

by Camille in My Thoughts Exactly Tags: , , , ,

Music Muse of the Day – That’s When I Knew by Alicia Keys

Link to lyrics and song – http://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/aliciakeys/thatswheniknew.html

Some mornings the music seems just right and perfect, and some just do not make sense at all.  This morning is one that just does not make sense at all.  It certainly was not the emotions I was feeling, but I leave it up to Source and open to the possibilities when I do this.  That was my commitment from the very beginning. 

What this song brings up to me just in this moment is a time to think and reframe.  I am on the cusp of a birthday that inches me ever closer to an age that I had always considered old.  Age does not bother me at all. I may be nearing 60, but I feel like I’m nearing 40.  I do not feel older, and am always surprised at myself when I look in the mirror.  You see, in my own inner vision of myself, I still see the 30 year old woman.  I still look younger than my age, but I am still surprised when I see the lines and wrinkles that have taken up residence, not to mention the gray hair just making its appearance.  This brings me to the biggest milestone of my life coming up.

In just a few months, my husband and I will turn the page and celebrate 40 years of marriage – now that can make any woman feel old.  I really do not know how we made this far, but as the song says,

That’s when I knew I fell in love
That’s when I knew you were the one
That’s when I knew you stole my heart away from me
That’s when I knew that I was sunk
That was the moment that I knew I fell in love

When he kissed me for the very first time on the forehead, I knew I was sunk.  I was only 18, but I fell hard.  It took longer for him – he was, after all, 20.  For him, it was the next weekend when he heard me sing in church for the very first time.  We were both sunk, and we have been ever since.

Now don’t get me wrong!  Our life has not been perfect and neither has our marriage.  But I am not here to write about that.  This morning is a time to reflect how much of those old feelings are still there.  And to make the point that, even in the worst of times, staying in love is a choice.  They say that falling in love is a chemical reaction.  Who knows, but this I do know.  Staying in love is a choice.  Part of that choice is acknowledging the physical reactions and acting on those reactions.  Part of the choice is exploring new dimensions of your love – new dimensions meaning new ways of showing each other love.  Not in flowers and cards, although that is nice.  But show each other in meaningful ways that lets the other know that they still do it for you. 

That slight touch of the hand, the brush of the hair, the hug and kiss at the most random times.  Those are important.  If your partner no longer does these things, and it is what you desire, show him or her this blog.  Because without showing lust in your relationship, love could die.  Lust in love is an important part of a relationship.  Humans need that intimate touch and that knowing that when the other could be with anyone else, they still lust after you just as they did way back then, when you first knew it. 

Do not become too comfortable in the other.  If you are not showing lust, ask yourself why.  Really go inside.  Today is about intimate relationships and keeping the lust/love alive!  It is about stealing the other’s heart and keeping is safe and sound.  If he or she has not stolen your heart lately, make it known that it’s there for the taking. 

All Work and No Play

28 Apr 2014 Leave a comment

by Camille in My Thoughts Exactly Tags: , , , , ,

Music of the Day – What I Wanted to Say by Colbie Caillat

Link to music/lyrics – http://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/colbiecaillat/whatiwantedtosay.html

Sometimes the worst thing is not saying what needs to be said for fear of how the other person in a relationship will receive what is said. Confusing? It sure is, and when those words are not spoken and left unsaid, we are left with the emotions that are conveyed in this song.

That being said (pun intended), it is also important to honor what we are feeling inside. A very wise young woman (I can say that because she is about 20 years younger than me) wrote an amazing insightful post today that if there is work involved in a relationship, then it is not a real relationship. After reading her post (thank you, Courtney A. Walsh), I paused to think about this.

Then, of course, because that is the energy with which I find myself today, Colbie’s song showed up on my shuffle playlist. So, here is what I know about this whole relationship thing.

When one partner no longer is all in, or when one partner takes the relationship for granted believing that regardless of actions or lack of actions everything will be ok, this is where work comes in. What happens is that the other either moves from a loving heartfelt place into a place in which change and adjusting to the other’s attitude, and this is work. And this is where the relationship is no longer a living, breathing, heart place, but a place that becomes tiring and hard and difficult. When both partners are all in and do and say those little things that mean so much, then work is not required. It becomes play and fun and heart felt!

This is when it moves from being a daily workplace to an honoring and sacred relationship in which both are all in and want to play. Understand, that when those little things that are challenges are thrown in the path of both, because they are all in, those little challenges do not become gigantic walls that either have to be blown up or climbed over – work! The question now has to be asked – can both look at each other and laugh and enjoy and play? Or do they have to adjust to the other’s attitude? Can they both just be in the moment together with honest love and just holding?

Yeah, relationships shouldn’t be work – they should be play – together!

What will you not say today? Can you just take the chance and say what is in your heart? Or will you just sit quietly, stew in your own juices, and say, “I should have done something?”

At the Door

03 Mar 2014 2 Comments

by Camille in My Thoughts Exactly Tags: , , , , , ,

Music for the Day – Anybody Home – Thomas Ian Nicholas

Link to Song (no lyrics today) – https://myspace.com/thomasiannicholas/music/song/anybody-home-67595522-74184386

I guess you get it by now.  A lot of the songs on my playlist are about relationships, but not all.  This one particular artist is an actor that was on American Pie and is now creating amazing music, like this song.  He writes his own music, and his music is awesome.

As I listened to this song, I thought of my own relationship and of all the times in our partnership that one of us just left and shut down for a while leaving the other wondering if it was coming back.  There was never a leaving the relationship physically, but emotionally, at times, the light just was not left on.  Standing there “at the door” the other was left wondering what would happen.  Fortunately, both of us are invested in this partnership – this marriage – that walking away would have been the easiest path.

But, we have been committed to stay – that is sometimes the hardest part of a relationship.  Staying when the other has already left at times feels painful and hurtful, but staying proving the commitment tells the other that the heart is still there.  Hard?  You bet it is!  But, in the end, if both are equally committed to make it work, it is worth it.  What results is a new found relationship – one in which both are there, not just one.

What happens if one leaves or it just does not work?  Then the attempt to stay teaches a valuable lesson and moving forward is the only path to take.  For myself, we have both always decided to stay and fight and through the battle and struggle to regain our territory, so to speak, we found a newness that was not present before.  That has made it worth it.

For my friends whose relationships have ended or are ending, the love and experiences shared will always be a part of their lives and something that will become a part of who they become.  There is no wrong or right in whether you stay or leave.  It just is and should never be compared to another.  I can only speak for myself and what makes me stay and fight when one of us leaves emotionally.  I remember the first time I laid eyes on him and I remember the first time he gave me that smile and that first kiss on the forehead.  Yeah, it’s about that!

I Choose Love!

28 Feb 2014 2 Comments

by Camille in My Thoughts Exactly Tags: , , , , , ,

Music of the Day – Walkaway by The Script

Links – http://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/script/walkaway.html

http://youtu.be/b31jx08y6To

Let’s talk about relationships – again! I shared yesterday that many of my friends are experiencing relationship issues. Remember?

lightbulb broken meme

Today’s music is one of those songs that, although there are some negative words sung, hits right at the reason we stay with someone we love even when things get rough.  And, you can bet that they will.  Believe me, I understand.  I have been married for a long time, and we have had our times of greatness and joy and of disconnect and sadness, and we stayed.

I don’t know why she’s with me
I only brought her trouble since the day she met me
If I was her, by now I would have left me
I would have walked away
But now I’ve broken away
Somehow instead she forgave me
She said a woman’s got to do what she’s got to do

I have heard my partner say this many times, and many times I have wondered why he stays.  We have agreed that we are either gluttons for punishment or just do not know any better, but we stay through the mess and through the dirty, nasty times.

I am going to bare my soul here in a way that I haven’t to anyone.  But, I want to share with my readers – you! Just in case you are going through the same.  There are times when I do not like my partner very much, just as I am sure there are times he feels the same.  That very first mind blowing, heart stopping love? That fades in and out as real life issues come up – it’s a fact, guys! But the staying together through the worst times? That is a choice – period. The easiest, believe it or not, is to leave – to walk away. The hardest? Staying!

There are times when I look at my partner and wonder why I stay.  And then there are times I look at him, and I see what I fell in love with to start off with.  It is those times that get me through the others.  It is those times that I realize just how important this relationship is to me.

We’ve been through a lot – he and I.  And I have taken him on many journeys just as he has me.  They have not always been great, but we’ve stuck together anyway.  What have I learned? Well, I’ll share with you here and now.

Even though I may not agree or like what is happening, it is my choice to experience it and learn and grow from it.  Buddha teaches us that life is struggles and that there is no bad or good – things just are.  The bad and good depends on how we react or respond.  Up to now, I have been reacting.  I am learning to respond.  My partner may not be completely in sync with my path, but I am supported from his heart. I choose to respond to that support.

That is what makes me stay. Granted, sometimes, it might seem easier to go it alone, but in the end, I would miss the guy that makes me laugh, drives me crazy, tells me I’m beautiful (even when I’m not), and loves me without conditions.  It is a very rare love that he has for me as is mine for him.  Today, I am grateful that he is my partner.  Today, I choose love!

embrace yourself

Fix the Light Bulb!

27 Feb 2014 Leave a comment

by Camille in My Thoughts Exactly Tags: , , , , ,

Music for the Day – Say You Will by Foreigner

Links – http://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/foreigner/sayyouwill.html

http://youtu.be/pX2UIC5nM2I

So many people I know are going through relationship issues right now.  I am sure that there is a real energetic reason, and I do believe that there is a lot to be said about the mindset of consciousness right now.  We, as humans, are always looking for the bigger and better, and we are a throw-away society.

I saw a Facebook meme today that said, “If a light bulb is broken, you don’t buy a new house.  You fix the light bulb.”  Well, many light bulbs in relationships are broken right now.  There is no secret that relationships are hard, and there are times when both partners seem to be on completely different pages and opposite corners.  Most of the time, it is due to a lack of communication with each other and letting real life issues get in the way of maintaining the relationship.  And it doesn’t happen overnight.  Granted that there are times when both have just grown apart and the relationship has run its course.  But if the relationship is fixable and there is hope, then fix the light bulb!

It is important to take a good hard look at what qualities drew you to your partner.  Are they still there? Or are they hidden under some other issue that has risen?  What about you? What mindset are you bringing to the table?  Has life created what is impossible to rise above? Or are you just going through a change of attitude and lack of real communication?  Have you both just gotten used to each other and don’t feel the need to romance and say what you feel?

How much have you invested in the relationship?  Does it seem one sided?  A lot of questions to answer, but they are all important ones.  They are questions that are well worth the time to ask and answer for yourself before making a decision about your relationship.  Only you and your partner can know for sure what is right or wrong for you both.  No one else can tell you what the best course is, but know for sure that the time invested in working through your own inner thoughts is well worth it.

Maybe you are at a crossroads in this and need to make up your mind.  This song, of course, speaks of the desperateness a partner feels when the other is unsure, but it can speak for you in any situation.  Are you where you need and want to be? What can be done?  Whatever decision is made, make sure it is your decision and not someone else’s.  Make sure that you are listening to your own inner guidance.  To do otherwise would be selling yourself short.

lightbulb broken meme