Music of the Day – Keep Your Eyes Peeled by Queens of the Stone Age
Link to Music/Lyrics – http://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/queensofthestoneage/keepyoureyespeeled.html
Raw and dark are the images that come to me today. Why? Images of my life as I have lived it, loved it, embraced it, flow through the inlets and outlets of my mind. I need so much more than I have, oh, not because I lack or because I have not had enough. I have had love deep and felt loved more than most. But I failed myself, never allowing myself to experience all that I could have.
Fear held me back. Fear of losing the mask of “everything is great” and of being all right. Always doing what I thought was right, never just doing because I desired or wanted, and I led you through this journey. You, so trusting that my face and smile were what they appeared to be. Me, knowing that deep inside, it was never enough, there was more that I wanted. You, not wanting more yet being the strength that could show me the way. You, finding your place of peace within me.
And, yet, always a hidden desire lurked underneath that threatened to expose me. Expose me for the woman I wanted to be, not the woman I was. So, I fought what I thought were demons, sometimes stretching your limits and pushing your boundaries. But, fear stopped me, stopped me from being who I was meant to be.
And now, that woman is breaking free – wild and wanton – filled with passions unfulfilled, filled with dreams not realized, filled with desires not recognized. In free abandonment, ready to experience what she dared not speak. Eager to allow her passions to take her to a mountain she dared not climb.
You are afraid, afraid of this new woman that has entered your life. She does not blame you, she understands that she is different. She understands that you want to hold on. She understands that this fear of losing her is inconceivable to you. She is longing to be free and wild – yet you hold onto what has past.
She is Raven who has perched in her mind bringing her messages of what was to come. She is Wolf, alone and afraid in a pack that only understands her outer face, but not what is deep inside. Wolf and Raven – together powerful forces – are calling her. Her inner self is calling her to become who she was meant to be.
Don’t you know that you cannot hold Raven wanting flight? Don’t you know that she will fight with all she has? Do you not know that you cannot hold Wolf in chains when she want to run free in the night? She will chew her own legs to be loosed. The Crow takes flight, the Wolf runs free. Crow and Wolf are traveling together now in the woman you no longer know.
Will you let her experience? Or will you keep her chained to the anchor that is your security? Do you not know that allowing her to run free and wild, you will keep her with you. She will never leave forever, just for a bit here and there. She needs to feel freedom to expand and be. You may add links to her chains so she feels she is free, but she feels the chain nonetheless.
She does not desire to leave forever, just to break free of the pack with which she travels and spread her raven wings to fly high above the lands. There is no other pack for her but the one she has traveled with thus far. This is a longing that travels deep within Raven and Wolf. Will you let her stretch without tethers and give her sovereignty over her own spirit/soul?
Open to her now and learn from her the mysteries she will teach you, if you will just let her be wild and free – ready to experience what she has been so fearful of – until now.
Dancing Naked 