Music Muse of the day – Adia by Sarah McLachlan
Link with lyrics: http://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/sarahmclachlan/adia.html
YouTube link with lyrics: http://youtu.be/Y0nwxDl_h1o
Who the hell is Adia? Well, that depends on the person. I will tell you here and now, for me, Adia is that woman I left behind that was full of self-hate, self-doubt, insecurities, and questioning every part of who she was. Adia is my old self – Terri.
Even as I write this, tears come to my eyes with grief for her because she was, as the song says, born innocent, but through actions of people she trusted, lost that innocence and became filled with her own stories of being broken and damaged. And try as hard as I could, I just could not break free of those old thought patterns and triggers to old belief systems. So, I did what I was lead to do – change my name, taking on an entirely new meaning.
Words have power as do names. In some aboriginal cultures and in ancient cultures, humans went through several name changes in their lives because it was recognized that names have meanings and lives change. When an infant was born, a name was given that embodied the hopes of the parents of what that child would become. When the child turned to the age of reasoning between 7 and 10 years old, there was another naming ceremony in which a name was given the embodied the child and her being. At the age of 13, the age of menses and entrance into womanhood, her name would change again relating her truth of the woman she was becoming. Often she would retain that name until she felt a change was necessary, but at the age of becoming an Elderwoman, a change was once again enacted that told the story of who she had been and telling of her wisdom.
My birth name meaning was harvester of chaos – and my life truly spoke of that truth. My name now is Renee – reborn! I have added another piece of my Beingness in taking on a second name, Camille. Why? Because Camille Renee is Wild Woman Reborn! I am living my truth – wild, free, being a woman who is learning to love herself as she is with all perceived flaws and imperfections. Saying this brings the realization that there are no flaws or imperfections – we are all born perfect in our Selves, and that is the beauty of this process.
The last stanza of this song says it all and speaks of what my heart song is and explains why I am so adamant about changing names – bringing my truth into my life in a way that completely embodies who I am. In doing so, I have set Terri free and am truly Dancing Naked in my truth and Beingness.
Adia I thought we could make it
but I know I can’t change the way you feel
I leave you with your misery
a friend who won’t betray
I pull you from your tower
I take away your pain
and show you all the beauty you possess
if you’d only let yourself believe that
we are born innocent
believe me Adia, we are still innocent
it’s easy, we all falter, does it matter?
believe me Adia, we are still innocent
’cause we are born innocent
Adia we are still
it’s easy, we all falter … but does it matter?
We all falter, and it doesn’t matter. We have the power to become who we truly wish to be – not who we were told we should be. Take it on! You don’t have to change your name, but you do have to change your way of thinking. A name change is how I knew I needed to make changes. So for those who ask me, “What are you calling yourself these days?” – I say, “Whoever I want to be!” Today, I am Camille Renee – but you can call me Renee! She is here to stay!
Dancing Naked 