Dancing Naked

All About the Numbers

“As long as your numbers stay consistent in the next three weeks, we can delay insulin for now.” Those words from my doctor yesterday took me back to when I was a little girl being praised for being a good girl. So, after going over my adopted routine since the first diagnosis on May 23, I found that I was an exception to her usual newly diagnosed diabetic patients.

But then she doesn’t realize that I am a world class over-achiever! Evidently, most new patients do not take this seriously and make small changes but pretty much continue as they want. Frankly, the threat of taking insulin for the rest of my life is enough to make the drastic changes I did, take the medication exactly as prescribed, and do what I know to be what is right for me.

Navigating through these changes are difficult. I am finding that I dread those invitations to potlucks because I simply cannot eat what most people prepare, and me being me, I do not want to seem ungrateful. So far, I have declined one, gone to another where there was nothing I could eat, and eaten before going to another. But more are on the table. Do I accept and take my own hoping for the best or decline begging off with some lame excuse?

The worst feeling for me is being where amazing food is offered, but I cannot enjoy any of it. I know that I will work through this eventually, but for now my diet is very strict and limited.

This morning, my number was up but still acceptable. I was disappointed actually because I wanted to see the lower number. It is weird that my life is dependent on numbers for now. That one number first thing in the morning and that number Gladys graces me with is what determines my day.

It’s all about the numbers!